點(diǎn)擊查看：2018年10月自考英語(yǔ)（二）閱讀強(qiáng)化輔導(dǎo)匯總

　　Children's Self-esteem

　　Self-esteem is what people think about themselves - whether or not they feel valued - and when family members have self-respect, pride, and belief in themselves, this high self-esteem makes it possible to cope with the everyday problems or growing up.

　　Successful parenting begins by communicating to children that they belong, and are loved for no other reason than just because they exist.

　　Through touch and tone of voice parents tell their infants whether or not they are valued, special, and loved, and it is these messages that form the basis of the child's self-esteem. When children grow up with love and are made to feel lovable despite their mistakes and failures, they are able to interact with others in a responsible, honest, and loving way. A healthy self-esteem is a resource for coping when difficulties arise, making it easier to see a problem as temporary, manageable, and something from which the individual can emerge.

　　If, however, children grow up without hove and without feelings of self-worth, they feel unlovable and worthless and expect to be cheated, taken advantage of, and looked down upon by others.

　　Ultimately their actions invite this treatment, and their self-defeating behavior turns expectations into reality. They do not have the personal resources to handle everyday problems in a healthy way, and life may be viewed as just one crisis after another. Without a healthy self-esteem they may cope by acting out problems rather than talking them out or by withdrawing and remaining indifferent toward themselves and others.

　　These individuals grow up to live isolated, lonely lives, lacking the ability to give the love that they have never received.

　　Self-esteem is a kind of energy, and when it is high, people feel like they can handle anything. It is what one feels when special things are happening or everything is going great. A word of praise, a smile, a good grade on a report card, or doing something that creates pride within oneself can create this energy. When feelings about the self have been threatened and self-esteem is low, everything becomes more of an effort. It is difficult to hear, see, or think clearly, and others seem rude, inconsiderate, and rough. The problem is not with others, it is with the self, but often it is not until energies are back to normal that the real problem is recognized.

　　Children need help understanding that their self-esteem and the self-esteem of those they interact with have a direct effect on each other. For example, a little girl comes home from school and says, " I need lovings'cause my feelings got hurt today." The mother responds to her child's need to be held and loved. If instead the mother said she was too busy to hold the little girl, the outcome would have been different.

　　The infant's self-esteem is totally dependent on family members, and it is not until about the time the child enters school that outside forces contribute to feelings about the self. A child must also learn that a major resource for a healthy self-esteem comes for within. Some parents raise their children to depend on external rather than internal reinforcement through practices such as paying for good grades on report cards or exchanging special privileges for good behavior. The child learns to rely on others to maintain a high self-esteem and is not prepared to live in a world in which desirable behavior does not automatically produce a tangible reward such as a smile, money, or special privileges.

　　Maintaining a healthy self-esteem is challenge that continues throughout life. One family found that they could help each other identify positive attitudes. One evening during an electric storm the family gathered around the kitchen table, and each person wrote down two things that they liked about each family member. These pieces of paper were folded and given to the appropriate person, who one by one opened their special messages. The father later commented, "It was quite an experience, opening each little piece of paper and reading the message. I still have those gifts, and when I've had a really bad day, I read through them and I always come away feeling better."

　　The foundation of a healthy family depends on the ability of the parents to communicate messages of love, trust, and self-worth to each child. This is the basis on which self-esteem is built, and as the child grows, self-esteem changes from a collection of other's feelings to become personal feelings about the self. Ultimately a person's self-esteem is reflected in the way he or she interacts with others.

　　孩子們的自尊心

　　自尊是人們對(duì)自己的看法――他們是否感到受到重視――當(dāng)家庭成員有了自尊、自豪、自信時(shí)，這種高度的自尊使人們有可能妥善處理孩子們成長(zhǎng)的日常問題。

　　成功的育兒之道是第一步是讓孩子們知道，他們上家庭的一份子，他們受寵愛唯一的原因就是因?yàn)樗麄冏陨淼拇嬖�。通過(guò)撫摸和聲音的語(yǔ)調(diào)，父母告訴他們的幼兒他們是否受到重視、是否很特別、是否被愛。正是這些信息形成了孩子自尊的基礎(chǔ)。當(dāng)孩子們?cè)趷鄣年P(guān)懷下成長(zhǎng)，不管他們是錯(cuò)誤或失敗，都使他們感覺到討人喜愛時(shí)，他們就能用可依賴的、誠(chéng)實(shí)的和愛的方式與別人交往。當(dāng)出現(xiàn)困難時(shí)，他們就能用可依賴的、誠(chéng)實(shí)的和愛的方式與別人交往。當(dāng)出現(xiàn)困難時(shí)，健康的自尊心是一種解決困難的手段，使之容易把問題看作是暫的，能處理的，個(gè)人可以從中解脫出來(lái)。

　　然而，如果孩子們盛開在沒有愛、沒有自我價(jià)值感的氛圍當(dāng)中，他們感到不討人喜歡、沒有價(jià)值，料想可能被別人欺騙、利用和看不起。他們的行為最終導(dǎo)致了這種結(jié)果，他們的自我挫敗的行為把預(yù)想變成了現(xiàn)實(shí)。他們沒有以健康的方式處理日常問題的個(gè)人對(duì)策，生活在他們看來(lái)是一個(gè)又一個(gè)危機(jī)。由于沒有健康的自尊心，他們?cè)谔幚韱栴}時(shí)，不是提出問題，而是用行動(dòng)把問題表現(xiàn)出來(lái)，或是采取退縮以及對(duì)自己和他人保持冷漠的態(tài)度。這些人長(zhǎng)大以后過(guò)著與世隔絕的孤獨(dú)生活，缺乏給予愛的能力，這種愛他們也從未得到過(guò)。

　　自尊心是一種能量。自尊心強(qiáng)的時(shí)，人們感覺好像能夠處理任何事情。這就是當(dāng)特殊事情發(fā)生或一切進(jìn)行得很順利時(shí)一個(gè)人的感覺。一句贊揚(yáng)的話、一個(gè)微笑、成績(jī)報(bào)告卡上的一個(gè)好分?jǐn)?shù)，或者做王碼電腦公司軟件中心些使自己引以自豪有事，都能產(chǎn)生這種能量。當(dāng)自我感覺受到威脅，自尊心不足時(shí)，任何事在更大程度上都變成了一種需要費(fèi)力去做的負(fù)擔(dān)。很難聽清楚、看清楚、想清楚，其他人都似乎沒有禮貌、不體諒人、粗暴。問題并不在別人，是在自己。但常常直到恢復(fù)到正常的精神狀態(tài)，人們才認(rèn)識(shí)到真正的問題所在。

　　孩子們需要幫助為理解，他們的自尊和與他們交往的人的自尊彼此相互影響。例如：一個(gè)小女孩從學(xué)�；丶艺f(shuō)："我需要愛撫，因?yàn)榻裉煳业母星槭艿絺�害了�?媽媽應(yīng)回應(yīng)她的孩子對(duì)被愛撫和被愛的需要。如果反之，媽媽說(shuō)她太心不能愛撫這個(gè)小女孩子，結(jié)果就不同了。

　　嬰幼兒的自尊完全依賴家庭成員。直到孩子上學(xué)時(shí)，外界的力量才對(duì)孩子的自我感覺產(chǎn)生影響。孩子必須明白健康的首尊主要來(lái)自內(nèi)部一些父母在實(shí)踐中培養(yǎng)他們的孩子依靠外部因素而不是內(nèi)部強(qiáng)化。例如，孩子的成績(jī)單上有好成績(jī)就可以得到獎(jiǎng)賞，或者他們有了好的行為就給他們一些優(yōu)待。孩子們學(xué)會(huì)了依靠別人來(lái)保持高度的自尊，卻對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)世界的生活沒有絲毫準(zhǔn)備，因?yàn)樵诂F(xiàn)實(shí)世界中，令人滿意的行為并不會(huì)自動(dòng)帶來(lái)實(shí)在的獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)，如微笑、金錢或特權(quán)。

　　保持健康的自尊心是持續(xù)一生的挑戰(zhàn)。一個(gè)家庭發(fā)現(xiàn)他們可以互相幫助，確定積極的態(tài)度。一個(gè)電閃雷鳴的晚上，一家人圍坐在廚房桌子周圍，每個(gè)人寫下兩件他們關(guān)于每一個(gè)家庭成員的事。這些紙折疊起來(lái)給了相應(yīng)的人，他們一個(gè)接一個(gè)打開他們的特殊訊息。父親后來(lái)評(píng)論說(shuō)："打開每張字條看上面寫的東西，那真是很好的感受。我依然保存著那些禮貌，當(dāng)我遇到一個(gè)特別糟糕的日子時(shí)，看看它們，我總會(huì)從中解脫出來(lái)，感覺好多了。"健康家庭的基礎(chǔ)是靠父母?jìng)鬟_(dá)給每一個(gè)孩子愛、自尊心從別人的感受變?yōu)樽晕业母惺�。最終，一個(gè)人的自尊心就反映在他與別人交往的方式上。

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