Ass

When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing.
When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating.
當(dāng)我取悅我的老板時(shí)，我在拍馬屁；
當(dāng)我的老板取悅他的老板時(shí)，他是在合作。
注：當(dāng)你想說(shuō)某人愛(ài)拍馬屁時(shí)，你可以藝術(shù)地說(shuō)"你真善于和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)合作"。

Assassination

Assassination is the extreme form of censorship[新聞檢查]
暗殺是新聞檢查的極端形式。
注：如果某個(gè)報(bào)紙對(duì)新聞檢查不管不顧，就派人把報(bào)紙老板殺掉。

Assimilate

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile[沒(méi)用的] You Will Be Assimilated.
我們是微軟，抵抗無(wú)濟(jì)于事，你們將被消化吸收。
注：模仿微軟說(shuō)話(huà)的口氣，微軟對(duì)很多小的軟件公司不是兼并，就是消滅。

Astronaut

Student:I enrolled at this college to learn how to be an astronaut.
Professor: hummm. I thought you came here to take up space.
學(xué)生：我上這所學(xué)校是來(lái)學(xué)習(xí)怎樣成為一名宇航員。
教授：我還以為你來(lái)這是占空間來(lái)了。
注：教授的意思是這個(gè)學(xué)生除了占地方外，一無(wú)是處。

When does a boxer[拳擊手] look like an astronaut?
When he sees stars.
拳擊手什么時(shí)候象宇航員？
眼冒金星時(shí)。

Auction

Firefighter: Hey, Chief! There's a 1959 pumper truck being auctioned today. Let's buy it.
Fire chief: What in the world would we do with an old, broken-down fire truck?
Firefighter: Well, we could use it for false alarms!
消防隊(duì)員：嘿，頭兒，今天有一輛1959年的消防卡車(chē)要拍賣(mài)，我們買(mǎi)了吧。
隊(duì)長(zhǎng)：一輛老破消防卡車(chē)有什么用？
消防隊(duì)員：誤報(bào)火警時(shí)我們用。

Autobiography

Janie: Mom, how old is our car?
Mom: About five years old, honey.
Janie: And what kind is it?
Mom: A station wagon. Why all the questions about the car?
Janie: My teacher told us to write our autobiography.
Janie：媽媽?zhuān)�我們家的汽�?chē)幾年了？
媽媽?zhuān)捍蠹s5年里，寶貝。
JanieL：什么牌子？
媽媽?zhuān)郝眯熊?chē)（？）為什么老問(wèn)汽車(chē)？
Janie：老師要我們寫(xiě)汽車(chē)傳記（自傳）。

Only when one has lost all curiosity about the future, has one reached the age to write an autobiography.
只有當(dāng)一個(gè)人完全失去了對(duì)將來(lái)的興趣，他就到了寫(xiě)傳記的年齡了。
注：所以最好不要忙著寫(xiě)傳記。

Avail

There are few sorrows, however poignant[刻骨銘心], in which a good income is of no avail.
不管多么刻骨銘心的悲傷，很少有收入增加后不減輕的。
注：如果鄰居被車(chē)撞得很重，你得了50萬(wàn)賠償，你還會(huì)那么悲傷嗎？

Nicola: I've proposed to four different men without avail.
Nicholas: Next time, try wearing a veil.
Nicola：我向四個(gè)不同的男人求過(guò)婚都沒(méi)有成功。
Nicholas：下次，試著戴上面紗。
注：Without avail: 徒勞；Avail 與 a veil(面紗)

Awe

I thought I'd start things off with the "shock and awe" phase of the operation.
我認(rèn)為我們?cè)撻_(kāi)始"震懾行動(dòng)"。
注：美國(guó)攻打阿富汗取名"震懾行動(dòng)"。如果不分場(chǎng)合亂用"震懾行動(dòng)"就有點(diǎn)兒好玩兒了。

Axis

Oh my God, the entire axis of boring is in there.
上帝啊，無(wú)聊中心在這兒！
注：模仿布什提出的邪惡中心: axis of vice